Syria…. WTF!?


If you are like me and are struggling to understand Aleppo/Mosul/IS/etc and figure out who or what to root for … I found this excellent. Sorry I could not find the original author.

“In case you don’t know what’s happening in the Middle East:

President Assad (who is bad) is a nasty guy who got so nasty his people rebelled and the Rebels (who are good) started winning (Hurrah!).

But then some of the rebels turned a bit nasty and are now called Islamic State (who are definitely bad!) and some continued to support democracy (who are still good.)

So the Americans (who are questionably good) started bombing Islamic State (who are bad) and giving arms to the Syrian Rebels (who are good) so they could fight Assad (who is still bad) which was good.

By the way, there is a breakaway state in the north run by the Kurds who want to fight IS (which is a good thing) but the Turkish authorities think they are bad, so we have to say they are bad whilst secretly thinking they’re good and giving them guns to fight IS (which is good) but that is another matter.

Getting back to Syria.
So President Putin (who is bad, cos he invaded Crimea and the Ukraine and killed lots of folks including that nice Russian man in London with polonium poisoned sushi) has decided to back Assad (who is still bad) by attacking IS (who are also bad) which is sort of a good thing?

But Putin (still bad) thinks the Syrian Rebels (who are good) are also bad, and so he bombs them too, much to the annoyance of the Americans (who are good) who are busy backing and arming the rebels (who are also good).

Now Iran (who used to be bad, but now they have agreed not to build any nuclear weapons and bomb Israel are now good) are going to provide ground troops to support Assad (still bad) as are the Russians (bad) who now have ground troops and aircraft in Syria.

So a Coalition of Assad (still bad) Putin (extra bad) and the Iranians (good, but in a bad sort of way) are going to attack IS (who are bad) which is a good thing, but also the Syrian Rebels (who are good) which is bad.

Now the British (obviously good, except that nice Mr Corbyn in the corduroy jacket, who is probably bad) and the Americans (also good) cannot attack Assad (still bad) for fear of upsetting Putin (bad) and Iran (good/bad) and now they have to accept that Assad might not be that bad after all compared to IS (who are super bad).

So Assad (bad) is now probably good, being better than IS (but let’s face it, drinking your own wee is better than IS so no real choice there) and since Putin and Iran are also fighting IS that may now make them Good. America (still Good) will find it hard to arm a group of rebels being attacked by the Russians for fear of upsetting Mr Putin (now good) and that nice mad Ayatollah in Iran (also Good) and so they may be forced to say that the Rebels are now Bad, or at the very least abandon them to their fate. This will lead most of them to flee to Turkey and on to Europe or join IS (still the only constantly bad group).

Sunni Muslims will also see the lack of action by Britain and America in support of their Sunni rebel brothers as something of a betrayal (mmm…. might have a point.) and hence we will be seen as Bad.

So now we have America (now bad) and Britain (also bad) providing limited support to Sunni Rebels (bad) many of whom are looking to IS (Good/bad) for support against Assad (now good) who, along with Iran (also Good) and Putin (also, now, unbelievably, Good) are attempting to retake the country Assad used to run before all this started?”

So, now that you fully understand everything, are all your questions answered?

2 thoughts on “Syria…. WTF!?

  1. DCOffline

    From my friend Adam Yetter:

    The “nations” of the Middle East were established by Decree by Great Britain when it stopped occupying and subjugating foreign lands as a matter of policy.

    The governments that were plopped into power in these nations, and the geographic borders of these nations, were specifically chosen to best serve the interests of post-empirical Britain (and other Allied powers in the West). Kurds have lived in what’s now northern Turkey and Syria for hundreds of years.

    Why are they being persecuted by the Turkish government? Because the Treaty of Lausanne (signed when Great Britain and France finished off the Ottoman Empire through military dominance during WW1) defined the borders of the modern Turkish Republic, and it was in the interests of Western powers to make sure that those borders ensured cultural conflict.

    Fast forward sixty or seventy years… and the reality on the ground in Syria, in Libya, is that these “nations” aren’t now and never were “nations” in the way we think of the word. We believe that human beings have a birth right to self governance, but the people in positions of power make decisions based on self-interests like Oil and Security, so here we are.

    The idea that the US got involved in Syria because of anything except for self interest is silly. There are many examples of genocide that have happened elsewhere in which the US had no interests that didn’t prompt any foreign policy discussion.

    The American Revolution couldn’t have happened under these same circumstances that people in the Middle East find themselves now. There’s a logical reason that the only people who are willing to fight and die for the chance to govern themselves are religious-fanatics who are convinced that “paradise” is waiting on the other side of their suicide vest detonator.

    Anyone who doesn’t consider their own death to be a victory in and of itself looks around and understands that it’s not possible to force a change when peaceful protest is met with violence by the established regime, and armed conflict is obviously hopeless because of the near-limitless military power of Russia and the USA.

    But let’s keep pretending that we’re arming “moderate Syrian rebels” because self-delusion never stopped us before.

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